Break my tooth on my tongue
if I speak. Bust wide open
my lips as they form the deadly
syllable. Batter my palate to pulp.
So much seething I could shatter
all sound if I gave voice to it.
I’ve felt this way 759 days
& have said nothing.
I’ve drawn lines in sand
with sticks & thought this,
inviolable, & all were crossed
& I tried cussing & curses fattened
in my throat & now they’re thick,
so thick maybe no air will pass
through this larynx & this aching
jaw may not sink to let out
the sound, anyhow, if it comes.
Crack apart my canines if I erupt,
grind the tongue to jam.
Because once the mouth obeys
what it’s so long swallowed,
once this blubbering turns to wail,
I’ll be siren, part of the choir
singing smash this, set this alight,
so loudly every eardrum bursts.